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Thursday, February 23, 2012

115,363 miles

The first time I drove by myself I was eight-years-old. I was attempting to be helpful, to do a good deed for my folks. But like my daddy says, you can spoil dinner by cooking it too much as cooking it not enough.

I gathered up my mother's keys out of her purse and set out to the driveway with the full intention of scooching it back a few feet to allow my mother space to get out. I unlocked the driver's side door, climbed up, and started it up. I had to stand to reach the pedals which was my first mistake. There's no feathering the gas pedal when you're in a full upright position. You're either standing on the pedal or you ain't. The next mistake I made was attempting to reverse out of the driveway. Even with all those impromptu driving lessons I had with my daddy, the need to explain the hows and whys you reverse a vehicle had never arisen. Go figure. I hadn't learned what the rearview mirror did. Hell, I was even lucky to have been able to see the mirror at all, let alone see what was behind me. I knew three things. One, I knew how to get it started, which I did. Two, I knew how to put it into reverse, which I did. Three, I knew how to pull the parking brake while pressing on the gas.

The truck took off like a greyhound at the track. In reverse. Down the driveway, across our tiny two-lane residential street, and to the other side of it. Luckily, my progress was stopped before I could cause damage to our neighbor's house.

Unfortunately, my progress was stopped by a massive telephone pole.

It threw me away from the steering wheel and against the passenger side of the cab. I was lucky it hadn't thrown me through the windshield or any other of the windows. As it was, I was sufficiently dazed to not realize exactly what had happened. All of this had taken place in less than ten seconds, if that.

When my mother found me two minutes later, I was crying inside the still-idling truck. The pole prevented it from moving, but it didn't prevent it from causing sufficient noise and fervor to make all of our neighbors to take notice. Not only that, but my little stunt had also proceeded to tilt the telephone pole a small distance. No, it wasn't in any danger of falling or I wouldn't be sitting here writing this to you, but it did add to the list of transgressions I was guilty of. Singlehandedly, I had knocked out service to our area for the next four or five hours before they could get a guy out to fix it.

After my mother ran to me and made sure I was okay, I proceeded to get a tongue lashing that I'm still not sure to this day has ever ended. I know my mother never allows me to live it down.

Breanne

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